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What Is ENM?

Ethical Non Monogamy is what is referred to as an “Umbrella Term” that covers a large amount to different types of romantic relationships where the partners have emotional and physical relationships with other people with the permission from all of the people involved.  Sometimes in ENM relationships there will be a “primary” partner.


Standard monogamous relationships consist of an agreement between the partners that neither will engage in any kind of emotional or physical pursuits with any other people. In a majority of the world cultures, monogamy is a standard and deviating from this standard is considered “cheating.” In an ENM or “poly” relationship, the standard of monogamy is discarded, and both partners communicate and agree that one or both can seek emotional and sexual relationships with others.

This is why in most instances people who are happy in an ENM relationships have solid channels of effective communication. Even if your particular ENM situation entails just experiencing strictly sexual encounters with others, you will have to know exactly how your partner feels about it, and what their boundaries are.

If your relationship is polyamorous, you will be having multiple emotional relationships, and you should try to establish these channels of communication with multiple partners.

How to Talk to Your Partner About ENM?

How to talk to your partner about enm

Even bringing up the possibility of opening up a relationship can cause feelings of fear and jealousy. Even the most confident of us can experience feelings of inadequacy when our loved one brings up the possibility of non-monogamy.  

It’s for these and other reasons that you must be as careful as possible when first talking to your partner about ENM. Make sure that the timing is right for the conversation, such as avoiding talking about it when one or both or you are hungry, tired from a poor night’s sleep or stressed over work. Picking a time when you are both feeling good and relaxed can be vital to communicating effectively.

Also, make sure that you explain what you have learned about non-monogamy and how it has affected those you have read about or talked to. Make sure that you are not asking for a definite yes or no answer at this time, but just want to have a casual conversation about it.

This topic is a very detailed and complicated one. For more insight and information about how to talk to your partner about ethical non-monogamy, please visit our blog.


Here at the ENM forum we strive to offer ENM information for those who are both curious about ethical non monogamy and polyamorous relationships, as well as those who are experienced. Our User Stories section is a place where our community can share their open and honest experiences. This section is a forum where our users can be express their emotions that occurred during their relationships without fear of criticism.

When submitting your story, we only publish first names and the first initial of your last name. Using pen names is perfectly fine and encouraged.

We only accept PG-13 content and dislike offensive language. If your user story genuinely describes your experience, we will email you about posting and include you in every step of the process in sharing your story. We believe that even if your story isn’t for everyone, it may help someone in a similar situation.


Our blog is a centralized database of ENM information that will over time cover the latest concepts of how and why ENM and poly relationships work. As in every type of situation that involves human feelings and ideas, conflict, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy and fear of abandonment will surface. The aim of our blog is to provide help with all these strong feelings as well as provide insight on the concepts surrounding ethical non monogamy.

Here at the ENM Forum we hope to communicate with our user base as much as possible. There is no way that we can ensure to everyone that our blog will contain all of the most important and accurate information, so we hope that our awesome user base will never be afraid to shoot us a message with ideas and even corrections to our content.


One day we would like to be able to offer entire case texts of all of the latest research regarding ENM information. However, as we are an informational endeavor, we currently do not have the resources to do so. We will try to find the available free case texts, however, most of the studies we link to will require payment to read the entire study.